life of a cuddlebit

my random ramblings


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dust in my eye

I always wipe my glasses clean before heading out to work. By afternoon, when I take them out to wipe them again I notice a lot of dust has accumulated on the lenses and I am happily unaware of it. I can only see them when I take my glasses and inspect it on a different view.

I am unaware of stuff clouding up my vision.  But I notice the dirt on my desk, monitor…etc. That is, further to me than my own glasses that rest on my nose.

photo taken from the internet

photo taken from the internet

There are certain friends/people in my environment that are quick to notice the dust in my lenses. And hate me for it. At times, I get terribly affected, sometimes I just don’t care but honestly, it hurts. That I start seeing/looking at the dust that clouds up their lenses too and resenting them.

I don’t even think of them as friends anymore.

Getting to a point that I can feel hate. The mere sound of their voice makes me want to hurl.  

I am walking on a thin thread with this. I swing back and forth from hate and tolerance. I pray for patience and wisdom in dealing with them that at times I prayed that they get the feeling that they make me feel. Sad, I know.

This is partly why I am an introvert from the start. I am afraid of people.

Ignoring my “triggers” seems to help. But that can also grow thin. I just remind myself this:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. –Matthew 7:1-5

Dear God, please help me with the dust in my eyes. Give me a heart of compassion.


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scent of remembrance

Mention perfume to me and one of the images that will spring to my mind is my (late) Grandma from the father’s side. She is one classy lady with a taste for the finer things in life. She has a huge perfume collection (and adores scents from Dior), collected jewelry (gemstones), tended a garden full of (scented) tropical flowers and only wore tailored clothes. She has perfectly maintained curly white-grey hair, always seen wearing a muted pink lipstick and smells heavenly even if she only stays at home.

Fancy. I know. More so, now that I can comprehend a bit of how fabulous she and her life was. 

I can recall my childhood days with her walking around the living room carefully arranging freshly cut flowers on the vase. She normally uses Sampaguita (Jasmine) as altar flowers. But for home decorating, her flower of choice was locally known as Rosal (or a Gardenia).

Rosal/Gardenia photo taken from the internet

Rosal/Gardenia photo taken from the internet

I loved that it looks and smells lovely.  The scent alone reminds me of her. 

But my Grandma is already in another place now, her tailored clothes are nowhere to be found, the gemstones are already lost, the garden which she lovingly tended has grown tangled and unruly, her regal home is now a a empty shell of beauty it once was. Soon enough, the house was sold, along with the fragrant garden. The said house holds a lot of my childhood memories as I grew up there with my cousins before we move to Manila to go schooling, I sometimes still think about it, I also miss my grandma, from the soft touch of her wrinkled skin and her faint lingering smell of perfume.

I was only fifteen when she went away. Was given a small jade pendant (she once wore, is all I have) to remember her by. 

If only I have the brains then to save cuttings of her beloved plants, to be replanted to pots. Even only her signature flower the Rosal.

So, I searched for a Rosal. I asked around, and came up empty. After months of asking. I was about to give up. 

I was resigned to the fact that the memory and the scent is lost and I should just go sniffing bottles of her (used to be) perfume/s to remember her. Then Kei took me to the relocated Manila seedling bank, It is now on Quezon City circle.

There it was. A rather huge sized shrub with shiny dark green leaves.

A Rosal plant about to bud.

Without much thought we brought the plant along with a huge pot and soil. All the thought of gross-ness went out the window as we took turns carrying the huge and heavy potted plant back home. Kei took good care of it and as of now it has many buds ready to bloom anytime soon. We named it “Groot” from the Guardians of the Galaxy.

We got a flowering plant to remember her by, I think my Grandma would smile at the idea.

I am excited to see it bloom and also get Kei to smell what the rosal smells like. 

It smells like the scent of remembrance to me.

For that I am grateful.


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apologetic rebellion

Chinese couples usually go through a “Tinghun” engagement ceremony. Our parents had that, some of my cousins had that…however, Kei and I sort of side-tracked. We have gone the western way, (That is a proposal then the upcoming wedding.) than the traditional (Chinese) way (that is engagement then wedding).

Thing is a traditional “Tinghun” means a lot of money. Why? The groom (and his family) invites their close relatives as well as relatives of the bride for a tea ceremony. Prepares loads of clothes, shoes, watch and sets of jewelry, cakes, fruits/candy to give to the relatives, who attended the betrothal. All the expenses are shouldered by the groom. In return the bride’s family gives a watch and a necklace to the groom. Kei and I decided to skip it. Instead use the money for the wedding. A wedding is a major expense!

various

One of my aunts sort of had some issues with it. That another aunt has to step in and explain to the other aunt. Practicality trumps tradition.

So, now that I am looking for prenup (photo) stuff, other than the gowns, I sort of wanted to get myself a red dress (modern take), or a cheongsam/qipao (traditional look). I think it would look good with the venue we had in mind. Also it would be nice to pay homage to our Chinese roots. Kei’s family originated from Hong Kong, mine came from China.

I am going for something like gangster quad or in the mood for love kind of vibe but with a modern take.

these are my inspiration, movie posters from the internet

these are the “mood” inspiration, movie posters from the internet

And here are my inspiration for the dresses, my pegs:

i like them both....

I like them both…help me pick one!

What do you guys think? Should I go with modern or traditional?


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A breather

Halfway done with the initial wave of workload. Thank God.  Have a bit of time right now. Expecting the next wave as soon as the last week of November maybe? Anyway, I am thankful.

photo taken from pinterest

photo taken from pinterest

That brings me to planning my yearly Christmas tradition…planning my list. This is the time I usually send the wishlist to those who are in the list. Yes. I am O.C. like that. I wanted to get the people who matter to me a present they would use/like. So, far I have ideas for a few, for the others, I still need to find stuff they would love.

Speaking of Christmas presents… Mason Jars are apparently “it thing” right now. First saw them popping out on Pinterest then a visit to a cute cupcake bakery got me looking for those mason jars in the Philippines. (I got mine shipped, from a college friend.)

This could be a really cute Christmas gift paired with some marshmallows and hot chocolate (this will be my staple holiday gift for 2014)!

These are our mason jars! *brought our mugs to Starbucks to get better mug photos.

These are our mason jars/mugs! *brought our mugs to Starbucks to get better mug photos.

So once I have finished dealing with my nefarious workload… it is off to Christmas shopping! Think happy thoughts!  


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More than enough

I have a full plate right now.

Not food, but work. I have been slaving over my usual holiday duties and was given more workloads than I can manage that will be permanent. Sigh. This means by next year I really have to do all these stuff again in advance so as the workload will not clash with my wedding day. It will be safe to say that I will be one stressed out bride! Not only because of the wedding preps, but also because of my insane workload. I just felt sorry for myself.

That explains my silence for the past few days.

Good thing I had my Mum to talk to. She empathized with me and said, it will be over soon. Just be prepared for the next. Wise words bundled with good food (lasagna and chicken). That lifted up my spirit a bit.

Come weekend I brought myself an early Christmas present. I got myself a military grade 1 terabyte external hard drive. In my favorite color: purple!

transcend 1 terabyte external hard drive

transcend 1 terabyte external hard drive

Kei on the other hand, upgraded his mobile phone and gave me his barely used Alcatel one touch idol, Ironman edition.  I get to retire my old Sony xperia phone now.

Alcatel one touch idol, ironman edition

Alcatel one touch idol, ironman edition

Work life sucks, but I got gadgetry going for me which is nice. That is all there is to my life right now.

Still have a lot of hustling to do… bye for now!


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a slice of humble pie

Over the week I have been meticulously looking for pegs and location for a prenup shoot. As this was the norm for most couples that is going to tie the knot.

this humble buko pie serves as my companion while searching for possible prenup pegs.

Beacuse Kei is busy at work…this humble buko pie served as my companion while searching for possible prenup pegs.  

I wanted drama and glamour. Something unique. My artistic side is kicking in. I don’t want to fall for the usual outdoor/garden/vintage theme almost everyone is going for. I can’t imagine getting Kei to wear pastel polo with hat and suspenders…. I want him to look masculine and edgy. I can adapt. I think I can pull this off. I am an artist right?!

To be specific, I wanted something like that of a Gossip Girl scene. The locations where they are at school, at upscale restos, bars…etc. As I can sort of relate to (Chuck and Blair’s relationship) it, and really loved that show. *I can relate to their chaotic life/friendship/relationship. Not the riches part ok?! But hey, a girl can dream right?

how is this for drama? photo taken from the net.

How is this for drama?  A scene from Gossip Girl. photo taken from the internet.

I pinned my pegs and looked through my cabinet to see if I already have clothes that would fit the theme as I am going to be my own stylist and even help Kei pick out what he will wear. And realized I need to buy shoes, with heels! As most of my shoes as of the moment are my trusty, comfy Fitflops of different designs/colors that I wear with everything. As for clothes, some of the clothes I have will do. Like my old uniform. But I still have to get gowns made. To match the swanky theme/location I imagined. 

I realized I need a lot of stuff.  stuff=money. I need to be thrifty!

And off I go to Divisoria! The home of bargain shopping. To look for a seamstress to do my gowns according to my pegs. (I printed them out on bond paper.) On my mind I really thought they could do the pegs for a low price. But, upon arrival and asking around… my peg was deemed “haute fashion” that would cost 6k the least. Oh dear.

Ouch. That is my projected price for two gowns! Not one!  

Determined to find something more reasonable I looked for gowns for rent…and found one but was still disappointed with how it turned out. To rent one gown you pay 4.5k, upon return of the gown, they give you back half of the 4.5k. Not much savings. Max fail.

I went home not totally defeated as I scored a rather cute black skater skirt and two earrings. 

 

 

So, I’m back to looking for gown pegs and eating my humble pie.

I’m going to find a not so haute design for my prenup gown/s and sticking to my idea.

We will meet again Divisoria.