Yesterday (March 15, 2015), I got this text message from my cousin (that is also my bridesmaid) that she was proposed to within the week. And she will not be able to fulfill her duties as my bridesmaid-as she has her own wedding to plan.
Her date is Jan 24, 2016 (so close to our date-Dec 19 and it is also right after my birthday!) We would be on a Sukob- a (Filipino) belief that misfortunes will befall the couple if they decided to get married during the same year a sibling also got married. or a chiong xi-clash of luck a (Chinese) superstition that if a couple’s wedding falls within less than 30 days of the wedding day of one of their close relatives (cousins included), then the couples cannot attend each another’s wedding or there may be a ‘collision’ of good fortune. I was like are are you freaking kidding me?
You didn’t even have a decent Facebook post or announcement or anything??? What now?
Do not get me wrong. I love my cousin. For my whole existence, she was one of my Atchie/s (big sister) –one I look up to. One of the family. I love her dearly that is why I picked her to be by my side on my wedding day.
But then again. What guy proposes to a girl that already has picked out a wedding date that fast?! (Chinese usually gets a geomancer to pick out a good day.) I informed you guys, a year ago of my date! I was aghast. I mean yeah, I am happy for you. But the news also stirs up my thoughts….Why did you have to set the date so soon? Why so sudden? Why the rush?
I got engaged July 20, 2014. My wedding is at December 19, 2015. That December 19 date was picked by our geomancer!
A year in the making, We even sent out bridesmaid kits for the entourage (Feb 2015)! She even accepted! It was all planned, she knew! Just why?
Then I am blindsided with this. After knowing our story, our date, our colors and location of our wedding. I was like why? Why you do this? The only good thing right now is at least we still haven’t had her measurements taken for her dress.
So, yeah maybe that was out of her control. But looking again at her message, there is this 100 days before and after that she wrote down… that means she and her family cannot attend my wedding, Same goes for us.
So yeah whatever. If that makes them feel better so be it. What I hate about the situation is the awkwardness and the comparison it brings, let us also not forget the casting of entourage… kind of like a ugly power struggle. We are all supposed to be happy for one another! A family must be united on a happy occasion right? You guys know how I hate family drama. Sucks. All this because they set their date so close and so sudden.
Anyway, what is done is done. I’m just praying that everything goes well for everyone.
I may be bewildered now, but I am ok. I bear no ill or bitterness. All the best Atchie C.
I love you and is truly happy for you! Happy preps! Our family is truly blessed to have two happy occasions to look forward to! Double the bride, double the love! God bless!