I wrote this post because: someone might need it. To save a clueless one like me from committing the same makeup mistake I made.
Last weekend, I was invited to attend a wedding. And it was not the usual wedding where I am friends/family with the couple. This time I got invited to one of Kei’s family gatherings. His Cousin’s wedding. That means his whole family with the relatives. I am going to see them for the first time.
That got me into panic mode… how do I do my make up? I remember having that
I doubt everything about myself feeling when I am to meet Kei’s family for the first time. Kind of feels like going to a job interview and getting all sorts of emotion/s fluttering like crazy on the pit of my stomach. That all I wanted to do is run!
No matter how I feign confidence, my knees are a tangled, quivering jelly. I don’t think anyone actually likes this kind of feeling. I would like to look good, but still looking every bit like myself.
*I made the mistake of looking too “done” when I met Kei’s parents for the first time. My mum was not really keen on make-up so, I kind of overdid all those tutorials from Youtube and Kei’s family’s reaction was: that girl looks so high maintenance and prissy! (I did a smoky cat eye complete with falsies with glossy lips for a dinner out. I even did my nails!) Oops. Oh well, better overdressed than under dressed was my motto that night. Fail.
Because first impressions must last?
Being with the parents/family of your other half is going to be the new normal. If you are piling on the makeup, dressing up every time you see them but don’t normally do on a daily basis. Talk about pressure… it is tiring and exhausting. Maybe you can keep this for a while but, sooner or later they are going to see you as yourself without the glamour. So stop pretending and be yourself.
This is for life yo!
So, how the hell do I look presentable and be myself while impressing the family at the same time you ask?
Ask questions about who you are going to meet – Get to know what type of people are they? Do they go out a lot? Do they prefer to stay at home? Are they the nature/outdoorsy type of family? Or maybe they tend to lean on the conservative side?
Where are you going to meet? Time of the meeting?- Is it at their house? At a restaurant? Event? Daytime? Lunch/brunch? Dinner?
After knowing what type of group the ones you are going to meet falls into, the better you can plan your outfit and makeup look. They key is look like you are part of their group. That way they would envision you with them.
Do I forgo what I like to blend in with them? –Say you like wearing smoky make up and bright lip colors, but the ones you are meeting up leans toward the conservative side. Go for natural makeup? Possible. But you can still inject your signature look, just keep it appropriate for the occasion. (ex: a dinner-smoky eyes with muted lip, brunch-light lids and bright lips)
Wear what makes you happy. You will be much more comfortable at being yourself when you are happy.
No major change- So you got worried about meeting his family that you went to the salon and had your hair chopped and now you don’t feel like yourself? Or colored your hair that is not totally something you like? Again, do not do something drastic. Stick to what you have right now, because you are well adapted to it already. Any major change=major adjustment. Adjustment=Uneasy + Uncomfortable meeting with new people = Not a very good feeling.
Simple is actually a smart move- As much we love over the top make up looks, now is not the time to go for it. Meeting future-in-laws is not the occasion to look like a drag queen. Let them focus on you and what you say and do more than what you wore and what is in your face. When nervousness strikes, it also shows on your make up application! Hello squiggly lines caused by shaky hands! So when feeling nervous, go simple.
What exactly is simple? For me it has to be good skin, just pinched cheeks, neutral eyes, and muted lip. Basically a no makeup, make up kind of look. I can add eyeliner and eye shadow if needed. It is fool proof! For the hair, keep it combed and neat.
For the simpletons like me: the routine of just patting baby powder on the face will not do. You have to do your own make up to look better and a polished version of yourself.
These are the basic stuff I go for in creating my simple face.
For the face after a quick splash of cold water, I apply The Face Shop HD perfect BB cream. This actually hides my freckles and acne scars. Without needing a concealer! Next, I use Clio pen liner in Kill Black for the winged eye liner look and use MAC engraved for my waterline to make my eye bigger. Both those products stay put!
After all that a light dusting of baby powder to ward of the oily shine on my face and a swipe of “nude” lips.
Meeting new people is a adjustment, more so meeting your future in laws! It can be uncomfortable, but it is an exciting moment as well. They are also getting to meet you and get to know you!