life of a cuddlebit

my random ramblings


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on to the holidays

I know I have been out for a while. There were quite a lot of holidays, then catching up on workloads, home decorating for the Christmas, getting my name changed, gaining a god daughter and doing early Christmas shopping to avoid the holiday rush. It’s been chaotic but very much productive.

We have also just finished hosting Friendsgiving & Games 2017. So, this is now a tradition in our home. 

the potluck menu – everyone pitched in!

After lunch, the games are played. We have Taboo, King of Tokyo and Sushi go! It was hours of fun.

friendsgiving games

After that we shared something we are thankful about, and some more stories -the recent happening in our lives.
Like the last Friendsgiving, we only have a few photos. Well technically we only have one group photo and a solo shot of our good friend Matti.  (sorry, no posting as the photo is a group photo, and the solo photo is a solo photo- we do not have the rights ok?!)
Its officially December! Woot woot! Its on to the holidays for everyone!

And also Grateful

If you are feeling some December blues, or even depression, don’t fight it.
Instead, do something for yourself. Be reflective. Let the emotions exist.
And be encouraged that, like me, you can get to a better place, but it can take time. – Brad Feld
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lost and found

I now own two umbrellas.

my umbrellas

my umbrellas- on top -the original umbrella, bottom -the new one

That seems to be weird for me, because for the longest time it has always been one umbrella for one little me. I use things until they decide to give up on me (broken). I also develop attachment to things and that sort of “relationship” makes me take good care of my things.

2 years ago.  I came home with my umbrella broken after a fight with strong wind/s of a typhoon, seeing that I have nothing to use the next day my (younger) sister Nicole gave me one of hers. –Unlike me, Nicole sort of collects umbrellas. And owns three or more. It is still in pristine condition that I do not think of it as a hand-me-down but rather as a gift.

The one she gave me is a automatic collapsible umbrella in navy blue with a purple trim. I was thankful for the gift and has grown rather fond of the umbrella for its ease of use and because it is compact and lightweight. Sturdy too!  It has been with me through every rain and the intense heat I encountered on the way. It has been with me through the heavy rains and manages to get me home somewhat dry.

Each time I use the umbrella, I feel grateful for my sister. Obviously, I have a strong sense of attachment to that umbrella.

Till it went missing for (2) weeks. I realized it was missing when there was a drizzle and I tried to look for the umbrella in my bag. No umbrella to be found. I waited for the rain to pass and thought I must have left it at home. Once I got home, I frantically searched for the umbrella but it is nowhere to be found.

It was sad. And because it is the monsoon season, rains are unavoidable. I know I have to find the umbrella or buy a new one. I just braved the rains and still thought the umbrella would magically show up one day at home. Meanwhile, I used a huge golf umbrella as a temporary umbrella. I also came clean and told my sister I lost the umbrella she gave me. I am resigned to the fact that I really have to replace the lost umbrella.

Over the weekend with my sister in tow, I brought a new umbrella (the second umbrella). It was bigger than the first umbrella, much heavier but with the same function. It was lavander with silver trim. While I loved the new umbrella, I still compare it to the original umbrella that I lost.

It has encountered light rains but I didn’t get the chance to use it yet. –My personal take was if it’s just a light rain, why would I bother? It’s just water anyway.

Yesterday, I got a message from Kei. Telling me that the umbrella I lost was going home. I was puzzled. After all, it has been a while. As soon as Kei got home he gave me back the umbrella. Turns out I had forgotten to bring back my umbrella and it was left at our friend’s house. The time they were looking for it, it was mistakenly used as their own by one of their nannies. That made us think that we lost it. But they realized that it was ours and sent it back.

So, I got my beloved umbrella back! -And now I have two umbrellas.


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makeup for a nervous meet up experience…

I wrote this post because: someone might need it. To save a clueless one like me from committing the same makeup mistake I made.

Last weekend, I was invited to attend a wedding. And it was not the usual wedding where I am friends/family with the couple. This time I got invited to one of Kei’s family gatherings. His Cousin’s wedding. That means his whole family with the relatives. I am going to see them for the first time.

That got me into panic mode… how do I do my make up? I remember having that I doubt everything about myself feeling when I am to meet Kei’s family for the first time. Kind of feels like going to a job interview and getting all sorts of emotion/s fluttering like crazy on the pit of my stomach. That all I wanted to do is run!

No matter how I feign confidence, my knees are a tangled, quivering jelly. I don’t think anyone actually likes this kind of feeling. I would like to look good, but still looking every bit like myself.

*I made the mistake of looking too “done” when I met Kei’s parents for the first time. My mum was not really keen on make-up so, I kind of overdid all those tutorials from Youtube and Kei’s family’s reaction was: that girl looks so high maintenance and prissy! (I did a smoky cat eye complete with falsies with glossy lips for a dinner out. I even did my nails!) Oops. Oh well, better overdressed than under dressed was my motto that night. Fail.

Because first impressions must last?

Being with the parents/family of your other half is going to be the new normal. If you are piling on the makeup, dressing up every time you see them but don’t normally do on a daily basis. Talk about pressure… it is tiring and exhausting. Maybe you can keep this for a while but, sooner or later they are going to see you as yourself without the glamour. So stop pretending and be yourself. This is for life yo!

So, how the hell do I look presentable and be myself while impressing the family at the same time you ask?

Ask questions about who you are going to meet – Get to know what type of people are they? Do they go out a lot? Do they prefer to stay at home? Are they the nature/outdoorsy type of family? Or maybe they tend to lean on the conservative side?

Where are you going to meet? Time of the meeting?- Is it at their house? At a restaurant? Event? Daytime? Lunch/brunch? Dinner?

After knowing what type of group the ones you are going to meet falls into, the better you can plan your outfit and makeup look. They key is look like you are part of their group. That way they would envision you with them.  

Do I forgo what I like to blend in with them? –Say you like wearing smoky make up and bright lip colors, but the ones you are meeting up leans toward the conservative side. Go for natural makeup? Possible. But you can still inject your signature look, just keep it appropriate for the occasion. (ex: a dinner-smoky eyes with muted lip, brunch-light lids and bright lips)

Wear what makes you happy. You will be much more comfortable at being yourself when you are happy.

No major change- So you got worried about meeting his family that you went to the salon and had your hair chopped and now you don’t feel like yourself? Or colored your hair that is not totally something you like? Again, do not do something drastic. Stick to what you have right now, because you are well adapted to it already. Any major change=major adjustment. Adjustment=Uneasy + Uncomfortable meeting with new people = Not a very good feeling.

Simple is actually a smart move- As much we love over the top make up looks, now is not the time to go for it. Meeting future-in-laws is not the occasion to look like a drag queen. Let them focus on you and what you say and do more than what you wore and what is in your face. When nervousness strikes, it also shows on your make up application! Hello squiggly lines caused by shaky hands! So when feeling nervous, go simple.

What exactly is simple? For me it has to be good skin, just pinched cheeks, neutral eyes, and muted lip. Basically a no makeup, make up kind of look. I can add eyeliner and eye shadow if needed. It is fool proof! For the hair, keep it combed and neat.

For the simpletons like me: the routine of just patting baby powder on the face will not do. You have to do your own make up to look better and a polished version of yourself. 

These are the basic stuff I go for in creating my simple face.

These are my weapon of choice in the dreaded meet the parents episode

These are my weapon of choice for a meet up makeup look.

For the face after a quick splash of cold water, I apply The Face Shop HD perfect BB cream. This actually hides my freckles and acne scars. Without needing a concealer! Next, I use Clio pen liner in Kill Black for the winged eye liner look and use MAC engraved for my waterline to make my eye bigger. Both those products stay put!

After all that a light dusting of baby powder to ward of the oily shine on my face and a swipe of “nude” lips.

Meeting new people is a adjustment, more so meeting your future in laws! It can be uncomfortable, but it is an exciting moment as well. They are also getting to meet you and get to know you! 


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a relationship is an agreement

Are you familiar with the TV show The Big Bang Theory? If so, I think you find Sheldon and Amy’s relationship a bit weird that they have a relationship agreement. But I will let you in on a secret.

The Big Bang Theory's Amy and Sheldon. Photo from the internet

The Big Bang Theory’s Amy and Sheldon. Photo from the internet

Kei and I actually have a relationship agreement! (But not like Amy and Sheldon’s.) We made it a week after we decided to be a couple. It contains all our promises to each other and we still go back to it from time to time to see if we really do what we promised to each other. We add to it, we improve it and it kind of grows with us and our relationship.

Truth is it took us forever to get together. We have known each other since grade school. That was it. It was not till after college…that our paths crossed again. Kei asked me out 8 times, before I finally agreed to meet him. After seeing him, it took us 6 months or more to decide if we do make sense together. And also determine if we are really attracted to each other.

*Imagine what if Kei stopped asking me out after the third no. Our lives will be so different from what we have today.

In that span of time (is our courtship stage) we got to study each other. What makes each other tick, pet peeves, and rational/ emotional levels.

*At this time, I am still unsure about Kei but would like to know him better without the pressure of coupling up.

So, in my case: What I did was unusual. I insisted that when we go out, we always split the bill. In case the getting to know stage does not proceed to an actual relationship, I do not have any debt of gratitude or in Filipino “utang-na-loob”.  And he will not feel like I am taking advantage of the date (hello! free food). He does however fetch me from home to where we want to go and accompany me back home. From time to time he gives me flowers and chocolates.

At this time, I am shifting the focus from myself to listen to him then reveal and share opinions after. Basically, I am learning about him the same way as he learns about me, getting to know what our negotiable and non-negotiable/s as well as the compromises we agree upon.

*Obviously the dream girl or guy profile you created in your head is usually not the one you meet in real life, Maybe close but not exact.  There is bound to be differences. Kei scored 7 out of 10 in my dream guy checklist. But now I couldn’t imagine anyone better suited to me. If I remember correctly I got 8 on Kei’s dream girl checklist. Yet here we are. 

It is not only attraction; it is also a meeting of minds. This is analyzing people exactly as they are – the good, the bad and all the crazy in between/s. This is two different people trying to see if they can look at things in the same perspective, meld their ideas and complement each other. This is also the acceptance stage.

In example: his ideal girl is 5’4”, your height is sadly 4’11”. Would he be ok with that? Her ideal guy earns 50k a month, you earn 20k a month. Would it be ok? Would that matter? Is it a deal breaker? Do you really need that?

*And realistically, are your standards even possible? You got to ask yourself that. Example: You want a rich, athlete boyfriend with a hot body, are you yourself rich? Are you an athlete with a hot body to match? If not, you might want to rethink your standards. This also applies to those seeking to find a rich partner, Do that person even know you exist? Frequent the same places? Obviously its only in fairy tales that peasant girls marry the prince. Again are your standards realistic?

Because, imagination and real life will never be the same, it will always have differences and sometimes glaring differences.  *Saying this again as this is important.*

You learn from each other and show an effort to understand the likes, dislikes and favorite activities/food/interests of each other. Who knows you might just have a new hobby/skill/interest!

Next, Attitude. This is the make or break in all relationships. This is a deal breaker.

Basically this plays a huge role whether or not your relationship will make it or not. To place it no one wants to be in a relationship with someone conceited, selfish, bossy, fussy, vain… etc. There is no use being with someone who requires you to change yourself/ your friends or your life in order for them to fit into it. That person is a big NO. You need someone who appreciates you for being you.

*Being good looking is a surefire way to get lots of attention; but if that is coupled with an attitude problem, people will stay away from you. Sure, they will tolerate you for a while, but its only just a matter of time till they leave. 

Nobody has time to be with someone who makes them feel bad about themselves. If that person makes you feel more insecure about yourself, that one has to go. A relationship consists of two persons who support each other so there must be harmony between the two.

*Do not expect the other party to give out more, because while it may be fine for the first few times, it will soon be a cause of resentment and then may eventually lead to a huge row or a gradual separation. You get what you give. Learn to appreciate all the little things the other party does for you. He is lucky to get your time and attention yes, but you are lucky he gave you his time and attention also. When they could be with anybody else or go on with their normal lives they made an effort to be with you. Instead of looking at it as: the other party must be thankful, reverse it. You must be thankful.

Frankly, a one sided relationship won’t last honey.

Next, packaging. How do you present yourself? So, you want an executive? Do you dress like a executive yourself? If you do want an executive (obviously he is wearing button down polo and slacks) and then you dress up yourself in a tight t-shirt and skimpy shorts, would it look like a good match?  A tip: Men don’t really notice what you wear, unless it’s really colorful, too revealing, or he is gay. (Don’t dress revealingly as is known to attract those people with not so good intentions. Ok?) What men notice is if you are smiling or not. A smile is equivalent to being approachable. And approaching you is the first step yes?! So, smile on!

Dress your age, and dress for your body type. Remember the time when juicy couture tracksuits were all the rage and we see old aunties wearing sweatpants with the world lovely on the bum? Not cool.

If you want to be taken seriously, you have to dress seriously.

 

Got all that? Maybe you already caught someone’s eye.

*On the meantime that you are waiting for Mr/Ms right to come along improve yourself! Remember like attracts like. So while waiting for your ideal girlfriend, make yourself into the ideal boyfriend. And vice versa.

 

-Taken from our (Kei and Me) recent musings while on a bus ride home. With inputs from our friend Matti.  #tamanglandilang #atadcoquettish

 


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two brides in the family

the actual message sent to me

the actual message sent to me

Yesterday (March 15, 2015), I got this text message from my cousin (that is also my bridesmaid) that she was proposed to within the week. And she will not be able to fulfill her duties as my bridesmaid-as she has her own wedding to plan.

Her date is Jan 24, 2016 (so close to our date-Dec 19 and it is also right after my birthday!) We would be on a Sukob- a (Filipino) belief that misfortunes will befall the couple if they decided to get married during the same year a sibling also got married. or a chiong xi-clash of luck a (Chinese) superstition that if a couple’s wedding falls within less than 30 days of the wedding day of one of their close relatives (cousins included), then the couples cannot attend each another’s wedding or there may be a ‘collision’ of good fortune. I was like are are you freaking kidding me?

You didn’t even have a decent Facebook post or announcement or anything??? What now?

Do not get me wrong. I love my cousin. For my whole existence, she was one of my Atchie/s (big sister) –one I look up to. One of the family. I love her dearly that is why I picked her to be by my side on my wedding day.

But then again. What guy proposes to a girl that already has picked out a wedding date that fast?! (Chinese usually gets a geomancer to pick out a good day.) I informed you guys, a year ago of my date! I was aghast. I mean yeah, I am happy for you. But the news also stirs up my thoughts….Why did you have to set the date so soon? Why so sudden? Why the rush?

I got engaged July 20, 2014. My wedding is at December 19, 2015. That December 19 date was picked by our geomancer!

A year in the making, We even sent out bridesmaid kits for the entourage (Feb 2015)! She even accepted! It was all planned, she knew! Just why?

Then I am blindsided with this. After knowing our story, our date, our colors and location of our wedding. I was like why? Why you do this? The only good thing right now is at least we still haven’t had her measurements taken for her dress.

So, yeah maybe that was out of her control. But looking again at her message, there is this 100 days before and after that she wrote down… that means she and her family cannot attend my wedding, Same goes for us.

So yeah whatever. If that makes them feel better so be it. What I hate about the situation is the awkwardness and the comparison it brings, let us also not forget the casting of entourage… kind of like a ugly power struggle. We are all supposed to be happy for one another! A family must be united on a happy occasion right? You guys know how I hate family drama. Sucks. All this because they set their date so close and so sudden.

Anyway, what is done is done. I’m just praying that everything goes well for everyone.

I may be bewildered now, but I am ok. I bear no ill or bitterness. All the best Atchie C.

I love you and is truly happy for you! Happy preps! Our family is truly blessed to have two happy occasions to look forward to! Double the bride, double the love! God bless!

xoxo, Pam


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How I spent my last valentine as a single

I kept the days leading to valentines busy. (Not only at work.) I sourced/created/assembled my bridesmaids kits. It includes a letter, our love story, color palette, their roles, details on the day, and  something sparkly-earrings/something sweet-chocolate covered biscuit/something pretty-face mask for the bridesmaids.

*This is not usually done in the Philippines. We got the idea from the US, as some brides assemble kits for their bridesmaids. I decided to make my girls kits to inform them of the wedding details and place a smile on their faces.  

ready to be assembled kits!

My ready to be assembled (bridesmaid) kits! 

To give you a better view of all the paper inside… I customized everything! Save for the huge pink box. Those are store brought. 

the stationary

my customized stationary designed and made by me! =)

A better photo of the kit. As taken by one of my soon to be bridesmaid. Thanks for the photo Gwen!

A better photo of the kit. As taken by one of my soon to be bridesmaid. Thanks for the photo Gwen!

Gave my bridesmaids the boxes and they all loved it! *I am happy! All the effort was worth it!*

On the course of the week I also managed to do some catching up with all the lovely people in my life.

valentine week

valentine week

I had a lovely Fri-date with my best friend Joanna (we call each other Lupet). Finally watched a movie (that thing called tadhana) with my workmate.  Had dinner with the family and got a lot of sweet (valentine) gifts!

But, not everything is rosy. My eye infection is back again, diagnosed on Feb 9 and is currently under medication until (hopefully) next week.  So I’m wearing my glasses (nerd mode) the whole time!

And as always, Kei and I spent the Valentine’s day late. We celebrated it on the 15th. Kei took me out for dinner at 22 Prime. (Wow! I know! Too bad I don’t have decent photos as the place was dim. ) 

Photo taken from 22 Prime's Facebook

Photo taken from 22 Prime’s Facebook

For all the troubles valentine brings, I made sure Kei also got something.

Kei's TMNT Donatello

Kei’s TMNT Donatello

I got him a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Donatello toy. Very unique right? hahahaha!

*The toy was his childhood frustration. He wanted a Donatello toy,  and told his dad he wanted the purple one. But for some reason his dad mistakenly got him a TMNT villain (kalaban) toy! That made him very sad! 

 

So, that was my week.

My last valentine as a single. ❤

 

 


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Cure for the blues: Bunny Baker Café and cake studio

We had a really bad week. How bad? Kei got mugged on his way to work. I have a nitpicking client that seems to want more and more freebies. Our weekend plans were cancelled, the red gown I had made turned out to be blue. To top it all off the rain has to pour.

Cue music: Why does it always rain on me? by Travis that would be my anthem for 2014.

But we got an invite from our friends (Kenzei and Aila) café and cake studio soft opening. We had that going for us which is nice.

So we braved the drizzly morning to be greeted by this.

cuteness!

cheery cute!

We are welcomed and seated on really cute pink bunny chairs! That was designed and customized specially for bunny baker! Their interiors is really cheerful, cozy and very well thought of, I really liked the stars on the ceiling. It reminds me of glow in the dark stickers.

interiors

interiors1

Upon closer look on their display, they have different flavors of really cute cupcakes and gelato!

cupcakes

gelato

But not to forget, the Bunny baker is well-known for their very detailed and whimsical fondant cake creations.

kids cakes

Those cakes are created by the (bunny baker owners) husband and wife team, Aila (wife) doing the cakes and Kenzei (husband) in charge of sculpting the fondant. What started out as a hobby, and then turned into a home operation is now a cake shop. They also do wedding cakes, cupcakes, macarons and set-up for events.

See the level of detail on this pink Chinese lion fondant cake?

pink chinese lion

Awesome right?

While I was busy taking pictures, Kei took the liberty of ordering a light lunch. We got creamy pesto pasta, spam fries and ceasar salad. For drinks we have pink lemonade.

order1

order2

We love the creamy pesto and fought for the last piece of spam fries! It’s good.

For dessert I got a royal blush cupcake (red velvet with nutella frosting) and Kei got a scoop of okinawa (milk tea flavored) gelato.

sweets

Despite the continuous rain outside, we left the place feeling brighter.

Thanks for having us over Kenzei & Aila! We will be back soon!

Visit this cute and cozy café at: third floor of Hemady Square, 1193 Eugolio Rodriguez Sr. Avenue, Corner Dona Hemady Street, New Manila, Quezon City, 1100 Metro Manila

See more of their creations on their facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/thebunnybaker