life of a cuddlebit

my random ramblings


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dust in my eye

I always wipe my glasses clean before heading out to work. By afternoon, when I take them out to wipe them again I notice a lot of dust has accumulated on the lenses and I am happily unaware of it. I can only see them when I take my glasses and inspect it on a different view.

I am unaware of stuff clouding up my vision.  But I notice the dirt on my desk, monitor…etc. That is, further to me than my own glasses that rest on my nose.

photo taken from the internet

photo taken from the internet

There are certain friends/people in my environment that are quick to notice the dust in my lenses. And hate me for it. At times, I get terribly affected, sometimes I just don’t care but honestly, it hurts. That I start seeing/looking at the dust that clouds up their lenses too and resenting them.

I don’t even think of them as friends anymore.

Getting to a point that I can feel hate. The mere sound of their voice makes me want to hurl.  

I am walking on a thin thread with this. I swing back and forth from hate and tolerance. I pray for patience and wisdom in dealing with them that at times I prayed that they get the feeling that they make me feel. Sad, I know.

This is partly why I am an introvert from the start. I am afraid of people.

Ignoring my “triggers” seems to help. But that can also grow thin. I just remind myself this:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. –Matthew 7:1-5

Dear God, please help me with the dust in my eyes. Give me a heart of compassion.

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scent of remembrance

Mention perfume to me and one of the images that will spring to my mind is my (late) Grandma from the father’s side. She is one classy lady with a taste for the finer things in life. She has a huge perfume collection (and adores scents from Dior), collected jewelry (gemstones), tended a garden full of (scented) tropical flowers and only wore tailored clothes. She has perfectly maintained curly white-grey hair, always seen wearing a muted pink lipstick and smells heavenly even if she only stays at home.

Fancy. I know. More so, now that I can comprehend a bit of how fabulous she and her life was. 

I can recall my childhood days with her walking around the living room carefully arranging freshly cut flowers on the vase. She normally uses Sampaguita (Jasmine) as altar flowers. But for home decorating, her flower of choice was locally known as Rosal (or a Gardenia).

Rosal/Gardenia photo taken from the internet

Rosal/Gardenia photo taken from the internet

I loved that it looks and smells lovely.  The scent alone reminds me of her. 

But my Grandma is already in another place now, her tailored clothes are nowhere to be found, the gemstones are already lost, the garden which she lovingly tended has grown tangled and unruly, her regal home is now a a empty shell of beauty it once was. Soon enough, the house was sold, along with the fragrant garden. The said house holds a lot of my childhood memories as I grew up there with my cousins before we move to Manila to go schooling, I sometimes still think about it, I also miss my grandma, from the soft touch of her wrinkled skin and her faint lingering smell of perfume.

I was only fifteen when she went away. Was given a small jade pendant (she once wore, is all I have) to remember her by. 

If only I have the brains then to save cuttings of her beloved plants, to be replanted to pots. Even only her signature flower the Rosal.

So, I searched for a Rosal. I asked around, and came up empty. After months of asking. I was about to give up. 

I was resigned to the fact that the memory and the scent is lost and I should just go sniffing bottles of her (used to be) perfume/s to remember her. Then Kei took me to the relocated Manila seedling bank, It is now on Quezon City circle.

There it was. A rather huge sized shrub with shiny dark green leaves.

A Rosal plant about to bud.

Without much thought we brought the plant along with a huge pot and soil. All the thought of gross-ness went out the window as we took turns carrying the huge and heavy potted plant back home. Kei took good care of it and as of now it has many buds ready to bloom anytime soon. We named it “Groot” from the Guardians of the Galaxy.

We got a flowering plant to remember her by, I think my Grandma would smile at the idea.

I am excited to see it bloom and also get Kei to smell what the rosal smells like. 

It smells like the scent of remembrance to me.

For that I am grateful.


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apologetic rebellion

Chinese couples usually go through a “Tinghun” engagement ceremony. Our parents had that, some of my cousins had that…however, Kei and I sort of side-tracked. We have gone the western way, (That is a proposal then the upcoming wedding.) than the traditional (Chinese) way (that is engagement then wedding).

Thing is a traditional “Tinghun” means a lot of money. Why? The groom (and his family) invites their close relatives as well as relatives of the bride for a tea ceremony. Prepares loads of clothes, shoes, watch and sets of jewelry, cakes, fruits/candy to give to the relatives, who attended the betrothal. All the expenses are shouldered by the groom. In return the bride’s family gives a watch and a necklace to the groom. Kei and I decided to skip it. Instead use the money for the wedding. A wedding is a major expense!

various

One of my aunts sort of had some issues with it. That another aunt has to step in and explain to the other aunt. Practicality trumps tradition.

So, now that I am looking for prenup (photo) stuff, other than the gowns, I sort of wanted to get myself a red dress (modern take), or a cheongsam/qipao (traditional look). I think it would look good with the venue we had in mind. Also it would be nice to pay homage to our Chinese roots. Kei’s family originated from Hong Kong, mine came from China.

I am going for something like gangster quad or in the mood for love kind of vibe but with a modern take.

these are my inspiration, movie posters from the internet

these are the “mood” inspiration, movie posters from the internet

And here are my inspiration for the dresses, my pegs:

i like them both....

I like them both…help me pick one!

What do you guys think? Should I go with modern or traditional?


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the three-zero, Kei’s #epicthiry

Kei and I attended Christian and Beya’s wedding last Oct 26, 2014. Despite all the rush, long distance and time constraints we thought they had a nice wedding.

us being wedding guests

us being wedding guests

That got me thinking/sort of worrying for when it is our turn. What would our wedding be like?

And the day after we attended the wedding, Kei celebrated a milestone in his life. He turned 30.

photos from Kei's #epicthirty afternoon tea

photos from Kei’s #epicthirty afternoon tea

I was very much excited! Much more than Kei himself who doesn’t usually celebrate his birthdays. (His family is not big on birthdays.) So, I made some teasers for his #epicthirty based on BBC’s Sherlock Holmes series that he likes. In hopes that he will be anticipating his birthday, not dreading the day he turns three-zero!

the #epicthirty sherlock themed teasers

the #epicthirty sherlock themed teasers

And because I wanted the day to be special, I crafted a “Man Bouquet” (male counterpart of a flower bouquet) for him! It turned out pretty awesome! The mix included Chivas Regal, Jack Daniels, Johnnie Walker and ferrero rocher chocolates.

Kei's Man Bouquet - the mix includes chocolates and liquor. I must say I’m awesome at creating this!

Kei’s Man Bouquet – the mix includes chocolates and liquor. I must say I’m awesome at creating this!

I also planned a whole day of activities for him. (I always do.) This time around I came up with a English/Sherlock / Jack Daniel’s label as design inspiration. He had a manly barberdashery experience, a European lunch, afternoon tea and Steak and oysters for dinner. To make it personalized, I custom made a placemat for him with the activities listed on it.

Kei's #epicthirty placemat

Kei’s #epicthirty placemat

He had a grand time. He is now thirty and happy. Mission accomplished for me. I am happy too.

October is done. With that I leave you with a Happy Halloween y’all!

care to join me?

care to join me?

till the next post!


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thankful friday

Another week is done. Seems like the days are passing by quickly…

Art by Katie Daisy

Art by Katie Daisy

thankful

 

Let me count this  weeks joys:

1.) Kei and I met our friends/role models, Atchie Clarisse and Ahya Paul over halo halo! They gave us brownies and owls goodies! Plus life advice! Much thanks!

Brownies and Owls!

Brownies and Owls!

2.) Finally got new nail clippers for the rabbits my furbabies at home. We got this from Daiso at 88php! 

nail clippers for little pets

nail clippers for little pets

3.) Chatted with my cousin Jackie from the USA. She learned that I collect owls and sent me these two cuties to add to my growing owl family! I miss her and our random bonding moments + my super hyper little nephew. 

owls form atchie jack

Owls form Atchie Jackie

4.) Getting to and from work safely on the day the typhoon hit.

5.) Laughing every morning listening to The Morning Rush. Positivity to start the day.

 

 

Enjoy the weekend everyone!


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first things first

I am going to camp! (Thanks to Kei for my sponsorship!)

And this is going to be my first camp experience ever!  excited much?! I am, so much that I even volunteered to design the poster below. 

the SSP-Zion Fellowship retreat poster I made.

the SSP-Zion Fellowship retreat poster

This will be on July 27-28 (Sunday to Monday). We were actually hoping that July 28 will be declared a holiday. But,  apparently, Eid’l Fitr holiday for this year falls on July 29 (a Tuesday). Oh well, I must pass a leave form and do advance work to keep up. Manageable and with time for adjustment! perfect!

Major plus that it will be held in Tagaytay! where the climate is cooler! I can escape metro manila’s oven like temperature. Hooray!

Its been ages since our last church outing. So, I’m thankful to have this opportunity to be with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Our topic for this retreat is apt for us working people, because sometimes our priorities are warped and we still don’t realize it. First things first! I usually claim to be organized and all but, I really fail this one from time to time. I must learn and learn till this is natural. Must improve the quality of my relationship with God. 

A few more days to go!

 

 

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. -Matthew 6:33