life of a cuddlebit

my random ramblings


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on a high

I was not expecting this. But it happened!

My lovely bridesmaids threw me a surprise bridal shower! -Not posting group photos for the privacy of everyone involved! hahahaha! seriously, it was very wholesome, good food, great friends and a family get together all rolled into one party.

May I also add that the place looked superb?! I loved all the party decor! Most of the decor are a labor of love-DIY!!! – the venue is our soon to be home. 

Standing slow clap for all the girls! And to my two MOHs-you have blown me away!

surprised!

top-left to right: 1-surprised! 2-I got a sash! 3-we play games. the one in the photo is dress up the bride using tissue paper. bottom-left to right: 4-modeling my tissue paper gown 5-loads of food 6-they gave me gifts. 

And they also got me a really really cute owl cake and cupcakes and owl giveaways too!

owl themed! =)

owl themed! =) Cake and cupcakes are gifts from my cousins- It is a Sugarbox fondant chocolate cake, the owl giveaways are lovingly prepared by Kei’s sister and my childhood friend! The super cute wedding dolls are from my childhood friend and churchmate! 

Almost did not want to cut the cake because I find it too cute!!! However the chocolate cake inside is so good that I managed to eat a lot of it!

I felt so grateful and loved. –The prenup/wedding related posts would have to wait… I am still not over sorting the photos and since the wedding day is fast approaching I am really really busy. 

Till the next post!

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makeup for a nervous meet up experience…

I wrote this post because: someone might need it. To save a clueless one like me from committing the same makeup mistake I made.

Last weekend, I was invited to attend a wedding. And it was not the usual wedding where I am friends/family with the couple. This time I got invited to one of Kei’s family gatherings. His Cousin’s wedding. That means his whole family with the relatives. I am going to see them for the first time.

That got me into panic mode… how do I do my make up? I remember having that I doubt everything about myself feeling when I am to meet Kei’s family for the first time. Kind of feels like going to a job interview and getting all sorts of emotion/s fluttering like crazy on the pit of my stomach. That all I wanted to do is run!

No matter how I feign confidence, my knees are a tangled, quivering jelly. I don’t think anyone actually likes this kind of feeling. I would like to look good, but still looking every bit like myself.

*I made the mistake of looking too “done” when I met Kei’s parents for the first time. My mum was not really keen on make-up so, I kind of overdid all those tutorials from Youtube and Kei’s family’s reaction was: that girl looks so high maintenance and prissy! (I did a smoky cat eye complete with falsies with glossy lips for a dinner out. I even did my nails!) Oops. Oh well, better overdressed than under dressed was my motto that night. Fail.

Because first impressions must last?

Being with the parents/family of your other half is going to be the new normal. If you are piling on the makeup, dressing up every time you see them but don’t normally do on a daily basis. Talk about pressure… it is tiring and exhausting. Maybe you can keep this for a while but, sooner or later they are going to see you as yourself without the glamour. So stop pretending and be yourself. This is for life yo!

So, how the hell do I look presentable and be myself while impressing the family at the same time you ask?

Ask questions about who you are going to meet – Get to know what type of people are they? Do they go out a lot? Do they prefer to stay at home? Are they the nature/outdoorsy type of family? Or maybe they tend to lean on the conservative side?

Where are you going to meet? Time of the meeting?- Is it at their house? At a restaurant? Event? Daytime? Lunch/brunch? Dinner?

After knowing what type of group the ones you are going to meet falls into, the better you can plan your outfit and makeup look. They key is look like you are part of their group. That way they would envision you with them.  

Do I forgo what I like to blend in with them? –Say you like wearing smoky make up and bright lip colors, but the ones you are meeting up leans toward the conservative side. Go for natural makeup? Possible. But you can still inject your signature look, just keep it appropriate for the occasion. (ex: a dinner-smoky eyes with muted lip, brunch-light lids and bright lips)

Wear what makes you happy. You will be much more comfortable at being yourself when you are happy.

No major change- So you got worried about meeting his family that you went to the salon and had your hair chopped and now you don’t feel like yourself? Or colored your hair that is not totally something you like? Again, do not do something drastic. Stick to what you have right now, because you are well adapted to it already. Any major change=major adjustment. Adjustment=Uneasy + Uncomfortable meeting with new people = Not a very good feeling.

Simple is actually a smart move- As much we love over the top make up looks, now is not the time to go for it. Meeting future-in-laws is not the occasion to look like a drag queen. Let them focus on you and what you say and do more than what you wore and what is in your face. When nervousness strikes, it also shows on your make up application! Hello squiggly lines caused by shaky hands! So when feeling nervous, go simple.

What exactly is simple? For me it has to be good skin, just pinched cheeks, neutral eyes, and muted lip. Basically a no makeup, make up kind of look. I can add eyeliner and eye shadow if needed. It is fool proof! For the hair, keep it combed and neat.

For the simpletons like me: the routine of just patting baby powder on the face will not do. You have to do your own make up to look better and a polished version of yourself. 

These are the basic stuff I go for in creating my simple face.

These are my weapon of choice in the dreaded meet the parents episode

These are my weapon of choice for a meet up makeup look.

For the face after a quick splash of cold water, I apply The Face Shop HD perfect BB cream. This actually hides my freckles and acne scars. Without needing a concealer! Next, I use Clio pen liner in Kill Black for the winged eye liner look and use MAC engraved for my waterline to make my eye bigger. Both those products stay put!

After all that a light dusting of baby powder to ward of the oily shine on my face and a swipe of “nude” lips.

Meeting new people is a adjustment, more so meeting your future in laws! It can be uncomfortable, but it is an exciting moment as well. They are also getting to meet you and get to know you! 


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two brides in the family

the actual message sent to me

the actual message sent to me

Yesterday (March 15, 2015), I got this text message from my cousin (that is also my bridesmaid) that she was proposed to within the week. And she will not be able to fulfill her duties as my bridesmaid-as she has her own wedding to plan.

Her date is Jan 24, 2016 (so close to our date-Dec 19 and it is also right after my birthday!) We would be on a Sukob- a (Filipino) belief that misfortunes will befall the couple if they decided to get married during the same year a sibling also got married. or a chiong xi-clash of luck a (Chinese) superstition that if a couple’s wedding falls within less than 30 days of the wedding day of one of their close relatives (cousins included), then the couples cannot attend each another’s wedding or there may be a ‘collision’ of good fortune. I was like are are you freaking kidding me?

You didn’t even have a decent Facebook post or announcement or anything??? What now?

Do not get me wrong. I love my cousin. For my whole existence, she was one of my Atchie/s (big sister) –one I look up to. One of the family. I love her dearly that is why I picked her to be by my side on my wedding day.

But then again. What guy proposes to a girl that already has picked out a wedding date that fast?! (Chinese usually gets a geomancer to pick out a good day.) I informed you guys, a year ago of my date! I was aghast. I mean yeah, I am happy for you. But the news also stirs up my thoughts….Why did you have to set the date so soon? Why so sudden? Why the rush?

I got engaged July 20, 2014. My wedding is at December 19, 2015. That December 19 date was picked by our geomancer!

A year in the making, We even sent out bridesmaid kits for the entourage (Feb 2015)! She even accepted! It was all planned, she knew! Just why?

Then I am blindsided with this. After knowing our story, our date, our colors and location of our wedding. I was like why? Why you do this? The only good thing right now is at least we still haven’t had her measurements taken for her dress.

So, yeah maybe that was out of her control. But looking again at her message, there is this 100 days before and after that she wrote down… that means she and her family cannot attend my wedding, Same goes for us.

So yeah whatever. If that makes them feel better so be it. What I hate about the situation is the awkwardness and the comparison it brings, let us also not forget the casting of entourage… kind of like a ugly power struggle. We are all supposed to be happy for one another! A family must be united on a happy occasion right? You guys know how I hate family drama. Sucks. All this because they set their date so close and so sudden.

Anyway, what is done is done. I’m just praying that everything goes well for everyone.

I may be bewildered now, but I am ok. I bear no ill or bitterness. All the best Atchie C.

I love you and is truly happy for you! Happy preps! Our family is truly blessed to have two happy occasions to look forward to! Double the bride, double the love! God bless!

xoxo, Pam


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Mid-Autumn Festival (中秋节) stories

The only thing I am excited about in September is mid autumn festival. Love the dice game (even if I rarely win) as well as the mooncakes. I actually keep my favorite (lotus 1 egg/ made form lotus paste and with one duck egg) mooncake/s for breakfast, and eat another one come afternoon, as my afternoon snack.

Photo from thailandtatler

Photo from thailandtatler

As a child, I remember walking to a auntie neighbor’s house to see her making mooncakes, as she makes them to sell come mid autumn festival.  The smell of the cakes cooking wafting from her house is just yummy. I usually get a freshly baked mooncake from that auntie as a treat for keeping her company.

My mum and this auntie are friends. She even invites my Mum to cook with her. My mum usually declines and just buys lots of her mooncakes instead. This certain auntie tells me lots of stories regarding mooncake festival while she bakes.

Here are the stories/folklore told to me by our neighbor.

 

Chang E’s story (the moon goddess)

Chang E was a beautiful young girl working in the Jade Emperor’s palace in heaven, where immortals, good people and fairies lived. One day, she accidentally broke a precious porcelain jar. Angered, the Jade Emperor banished her to live on earth, where ordinary people lived. She could return to the Heaven, if she contributed a valuable service on earth.

Chang E was transformed into a member of a poor farming family. When she was 18, a young hunter named Hou Yi from another village spotted her, now a beautiful young woman. They became friends.

One day, a strange phenomenon occurred – 10 suns arose in the sky instead one one, scorching the earth. Hou Yi, an expert archer, stepped forward to try to save the earth. He successfully shot down nine of the suns, becoming an instant hero. He eventually became king and married Chang E.

 

But Hou Yi grew to become a tyrrant. He sought immortality by ordering an elixir be created to prolong his life. The elixir in the form of a single pill was almost ready when Chang E came upon it. She either accidentally or purposely swallowed the pill. This angered King Hou Yi, who went after his wife. Trying to flee, she jumped out the window of a chamber at the top of palace — and, instead of falling, she floated into the sky toward the moon.

King Hou Yi tried to shoot her down with arrows, but without success. Once on the moon, Chang E has only one companion, a (jade?) rabbit, is constantly pounding the elixir of immortality in a large mortar.

 

 

The story of the moon rabbit

The story goes about a god reincarnated into a poor old man and begged food from a fox, a monkey and a rabbit.

When an old man begged for food, the monkey gathered fruits from the trees and the otter collected fish, while the fox wrongfully pilfered a lizard and a pot of milk-curd. The rabbit, who knew only how to gather grass, instead offered its own body, throwing itself into a fire the man had built. The rabbit, however, was not burnt. The old man revealed himself to be a god  and, touched by the rabbit’s virtue, drew the likeness of the rabbit on the Moon for all to see.

Or the  alternate ending that, the god was so moved by the rabbit and sent it to the moon to become an immortal jade rabbit. Ever since, the jade rabbit stayed in the Moon Palace to accompany Chang E and pounded immortal medicine for those living in the heaven.

 

For today, I am going to see my grandama and the rest of the family  later to celebrate mid-autumn festival, and eat mooncakes.

 

*Try to look at the moon tonight, its at its roundest and brightest.

**Mid-autumn festival occurs every 15th day of the 8th month of the Chinese lunar calendar.


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irked to the second power

There are some things that money just cannot buy, like manners, morals and integrity. 

kape

The statement above cannot be more accurate for my weekend experience. Kei and I had to work on a architectural plan this weekend, but we also want to spend time together so we came up with an idea… we do our work as usual at the nearest coffee shop. Then go shopping after. 

That was the start of a cringe worthy afternoon experience for the both of us.

As soon as we arrived at the coffee shop, we immediately got our orders and proceeded to carry on our task. Plugged the laptop and even shared our table to a couple of students. After a short while the students left, leaving the whole table to us. Bliss.

Then came a family of tourists. They have no table so we shared ours to them. The family having many members, are arguing themselves on how to get more chairs/grab other people’s spot. We paid them no attention.

Our peaceful stay has become a disaster. The kids of the said family fought over a frap, suddenly there was screaming, and crying and without a warning  my feet was splashed with a cold sticky mocha frap. Without even a sorry and without even bothering to wipe of the mess on our area and the floor. The elders of the family just got napkins to soak up the coffee on the table. So, there we were on a shared table, our laptop near the pile of soggy napkins and my feet sticky and clammy from the frap. I just wiped my foot with wet ones and acted like everything is normal.

I was irked, but yeah. shit happens so, we continue our work.

And the kids got another frap to fight over. Hell’s bells.

You guessed it. The contents of the second cup is all over the table again. For the second time, and they did have a lot more spare cups. We were restraining ourselves from getting into a fight with the family of tourists! If only we could do the table flip! 

Before our stuff gets damaged, we hurriedly packed up and left.

With Kei muttering loudly and I giving them the stank eye. Good thing we did finish our work for a quick 30 mins. 

 

Once you have money and fame, the next thing you should expect is scandal and shame. – Michael Bassey Johnson


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happy valentine’s day!

happy valentine’s day everyone!

photo from pinterest

photo from pinterest

I am off to celebrate the day with my lovely Grandma! Plus, the family…as always.

My valentine date with Kei will be moved to the weekend. Because I think it would be a bad idea to join the rush/splurge for valentine’s when we can get a better deal on a less “peak day for dates”.  Besides heavily packed/noisy restaurants are not exactly a romantic place. *Just being practical here.*

and lastly a friendly reminder,

Gifts of love need not be expensive, just heart-felt.