life of a cuddlebit

my random ramblings


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dust in my eye

I always wipe my glasses clean before heading out to work. By afternoon, when I take them out to wipe them again I notice a lot of dust has accumulated on the lenses and I am happily unaware of it. I can only see them when I take my glasses and inspect it on a different view.

I am unaware of stuff clouding up my vision.  But I notice the dirt on my desk, monitor…etc. That is, further to me than my own glasses that rest on my nose.

photo taken from the internet

photo taken from the internet

There are certain friends/people in my environment that are quick to notice the dust in my lenses. And hate me for it. At times, I get terribly affected, sometimes I just don’t care but honestly, it hurts. That I start seeing/looking at the dust that clouds up their lenses too and resenting them.

I don’t even think of them as friends anymore.

Getting to a point that I can feel hate. The mere sound of their voice makes me want to hurl.  

I am walking on a thin thread with this. I swing back and forth from hate and tolerance. I pray for patience and wisdom in dealing with them that at times I prayed that they get the feeling that they make me feel. Sad, I know.

This is partly why I am an introvert from the start. I am afraid of people.

Ignoring my “triggers” seems to help. But that can also grow thin. I just remind myself this:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. –Matthew 7:1-5

Dear God, please help me with the dust in my eyes. Give me a heart of compassion.

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1 Comment

all is well (with the weather and bullies)

I hope everyone is well.

one of the roadblocks I encountered yesterday on my way to work

one of the roadblocks I encountered on my way to work

Made it to work despite the strong winds, yesterday. Thankfully, there is minimal flooding. We had power outage, and no LRT though. But, it is still manageable, found a (overpriced) cab to take me to the office. Finished my deadline. Kei went to the office to bring me back home and we hailed another (overpriced) cab. All is well.

Thank God.

 

While browsing the internet, I saw Selena Gomez’s response to online bullying.

selena's awesome response

Selena’s awesome response

Celebrities usually ignore trolls and haters, but sometimes these bullies needs to be stopped.

So, Selena responded to the bully who wished cancer on her saying,

“Honestly, I don’t speak up much because it’s simply always taken out of context. But I don’t take bullying well. I have seen too much to not say anything. The comment you left about cancer was absurd. How distasteful of a young woman. I have gone through that battle with fans and family members. You can dislike someone but to wish something that could happen to you or your family is uncalled for sweetheart. You won’t be winning ‘anyone’s’ heart that way. Trust me. Educate yourself a tad more. God bless love. Be an amazing woman. You’re beautiful.”

Wow such a classy lady. I am now a fan.

Bullying is unacceptable.

 

I have suffered from bullying in many ways, from bullying in school, on getting laughed at/ridiculed due to my appearance (i was a small,  scrawny kid with rabbit tooth and huge glasses). I always got teased. I had a few friends. My classmates made my life a living hell. I had to deal with that on a daily basis.

It was very tough. I hated school because of the bullies.

My grades are mediocre. I stayed at the library and read books. It was safe. Nobody ever was hurt or teased or looked stupid while reading books.

I was grateful for weekends, I get to stay away from the bullies.

I decided that I want to be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else’s feelings. That is still my goal everyday. And now, I sort of pay attention to my appearance a bit. 

Of course there are still bullies everywhere. I just ignore them. 

 

 

**The grade/high school bullies of mine was now never heard of. One of them moved to the US. 

The common mistake that bullies make is assuming that because someone is nice that he or she is weak. Those traits have nothing to do with each other. In fact, it takes considerable strength and character to be a good person.” – Mary Elizabeth Williams