life of a cuddlebit

my random ramblings


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dust in my eye

I always wipe my glasses clean before heading out to work. By afternoon, when I take them out to wipe them again I notice a lot of dust has accumulated on the lenses and I am happily unaware of it. I can only see them when I take my glasses and inspect it on a different view.

I am unaware of stuff clouding up my vision.  But I notice the dirt on my desk, monitor…etc. That is, further to me than my own glasses that rest on my nose.

photo taken from the internet

photo taken from the internet

There are certain friends/people in my environment that are quick to notice the dust in my lenses. And hate me for it. At times, I get terribly affected, sometimes I just don’t care but honestly, it hurts. That I start seeing/looking at the dust that clouds up their lenses too and resenting them.

I don’t even think of them as friends anymore.

Getting to a point that I can feel hate. The mere sound of their voice makes me want to hurl.  

I am walking on a thin thread with this. I swing back and forth from hate and tolerance. I pray for patience and wisdom in dealing with them that at times I prayed that they get the feeling that they make me feel. Sad, I know.

This is partly why I am an introvert from the start. I am afraid of people.

Ignoring my “triggers” seems to help. But that can also grow thin. I just remind myself this:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. –Matthew 7:1-5

Dear God, please help me with the dust in my eyes. Give me a heart of compassion.

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predictable

I really cringe when I see my little sister glued to the tv every time I get home. Because I know what she is doing the whole day. She is a Koreanovela addict.

I hate Koreanovelas. It’s too predictable. Here is a compilation from soompi.

 

50 Things YOU can learn from Korean dramas

1) Hot, rich, younger men love fat, older vulgar women.

photo from the internet

photo from the internet

2) If you have a best guy friend, he is in love with you. And secretly you are too.

3) You and your boyfriend will always playfully chase each other on an ice rink, at the beach, or in the leaves. And you’ll laugh for no reason and your boyfriend will hit you “playfully” but the force of his push will have you flying across the room. But it’s okay. Coz you’re still laughing like a crazy person.

4) Brothers/best friend/cousin/uncles-nephews will always love the same girl.

photo from the internet

photo from the internet

5) You’re allowed to make u-turns wherever you want in Korea. And there is never traffic on the side you want to u-turn to.

6) There is a super quick payment device that allows you to pay a bill quickly enough for a guy to run immediately out of a restaurant after his angry girlfriend storms out.

7) Everyone has cancer.

photo from the internet

photo from the internet

8) If you’re sick, all you need is an IV to make you feel lots better.

9) There is vomit and urine all over Seoul at nights.

10) Fighting at a pojangmacha with a random stranger is merely part of a normal night’s event.

photos from the internet

photos from the internet

11) Soju must cost 10 cents. Everyone drinks it everyday all the time, especially the poor people. I still don’t get why that’s all they drink in dramas

12) If you’re rich, you’re a jerk.

13) If you’re poor, you’re an angel.

14) Women sleep and wake up with a full set of makeup on.

15) You’re not studying hard enough unless you get a nosebleed.

16) If you have a nosebleed, you most definitely have cancer. And you have no money to pay for the surgery that will save your life. And your liver is missing. We’re not sure where it went, but it’s making your cancer progress faster.

17) If you work in a sool jeep, you have massively curly hair and wear flashy colors from the early 90’s.

photo from the internet

photo from the internet

18) You always order orange juice or coffee at a cafe. And you never drink it. EVER.< they drink almost as much as soju

19) You will always call your boyfriend by his job title. Or simply sunbae. Never his name. Never. He doesn’t have one.

20) If you TRULY love each other, you must die together in the end. Frozen outside instead of finding shelter like sane people. Just frozen….

21) You go to America you come back miraculously successful. You go to England you come back amazingly fashionable. You stay in Korea the only thing that changes is your hairstyle.

22) And if you come back with no apparent reason then it’s because you have cancer.

23) Everyone always goes to the same hospital no matter where they are.

24) If you stand out in the rain for more than five minutes, you’ll end up with a fever and vertigo and people will rush you to the hospital to get some magic IV. And instead of taking an ambulance or driving they’ll race you on their back.

photo from the internet

photo from the internet

25) Even if you’re poor and can’t eat, you never wear the same clothes twice.

26) If you play a poor kid, you always have dirt on your face and your hair is always messy.
27) If you’re saving someone from being hit from a car, you’ll push them out of the way and wait for the car to hit you instead. couldn’t be more true, they’re like a deer in headlights

28) Everyone has a long lost sister/brother/twin. Usually one they didn’t know about.

29) If you don’t want to answer your phone, you can just turn it off. The battery needs to be taken out.

30) All Korean men can drink hard, smoke long, sing well and play piano. Usually all at the same time. And at the same restaurant that has a piano that they let anyone use.

31) If you’re in a relationship, you must at one point leave and have your lover tearfully come RIGHT before you board the plane (vice versa applies as well. You can be the chaser). 60% of the time you see each other, the other 40% you’re roaming around in circles and pass each other about six times, but miraculously never see them.

photo from the internet

photo from the internet

32) If you’re getting off a plane, you’re ALWAYS wearing sunglasses. ALWAYS.

33) All guys wear hideous tracksuits zipped up to their neck. Even if all they’re doing is jump roping.

34) Girls will always storm off because they’re mad and the guy will stoically grab them by the arm and swing them back- and by magic, not dislocate their shoulders.

35) Guys always look like they’re 6 feet tall, even if they’re only 5’10. Thank you camera angles.

36) Guys like to wear foundation, eyeliner and sometimes a smudge of lipliner.

photo from the internet

photo from the internet

37) You always get stuck in an elevator with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. Even if there are six different elevators, you’ll always be stuck in the same one with that bastard you hate (or just fought with).

photo from the internet

photo from the internet

38) Unless you’re fabulously rich, your in-laws will always hate you

39) So will your sister-in-law.

40) Your brother-in-law might be pining away for you.

41) There are only 2 ways to kiss. You either press your lips against theirs with your mouth completely shut, and just press away for a very long and uncomfortable time. OR you devour the other person and suck out their soul. In both instances, the world spins.

photo from the internet

photo from the internet

42) A guy will always get the right size ring, even if you’re never held hands.

43) People stare off into space and ponder a lot. They’ll just stop in the middle of the road and watch a leaf on a tree for a good three minutes, and just ponder.

44) You’ll get pregnant the first time you have sex.

45) You’ll get pregnant if he kisses you on the forehead.

46) Hell- you’ll get pregnant if you hold hands.

47) If you overcome great obstacles to be together, one of you must die. Probably due to cancer.

48) One Korean man can kick the butts of 6 gangstas. Especially when they all stand in a circle and attack the guy one by one. Then when each of them get their butts OWNED, they wise up and attack the guy at the same time. Then the guy will get pulverized and bleed out onto the dusty concrete floor of the empty warehouse they’ve found to fight in. There will be a fire in a trashcan somewhere. And the girl will have watched this the entire time, screaming in horror. Instead of calling 119, she’ll just watch and cry. But it’s okay. Cuz the next day the guy will be fine with a few random bandages and a few face scars. But never a black eye.

49) It ain’t a real fight unless the gangstas fight dirty with a stick or switchblade.

50) If you study in the states (preferably Harvard), you are one of the top students and can speak perfect English (as assumed by the reactions of those around you). Why the rest of the world OUTSIDE of the TV can’t understand a single word uttered out of your melodramatic mouth is beyond me.

 

What is more annoying is the fact that you can’t talk to her when she is in her Koreanovela marathon. She skips meals, ignores calls/texts and has a really distorted perception of  reality  because of all the “romantic” koreanovelas she is watching. She can be overly dramatic and at times downright rude because that is what she sees from those dramas.

Sigh. I’d very much like her to be at school rather than spending her waking hours trying to read the subtitles and watching k-dramas.


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core differences

last week, while taking my morning cup when my best friend sent me our (daily) morning devotion.

Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues without right. -Proverbs 16:8

Followed with a quote that goes: A man is never as good as he says he is, or as bad as others say he is. If people say something bad about you, judge you as if they know you, don’t get affected. just think… Dogs don’t bark if they know the person.

 

That had my mouth hanging open. How did my best friend know what I was thinking about? I quickly told her my thoughts and she answered I was thinking about those too. Wow. Even when we are miles apart we still have the “connection”. We go through the same experiences in life together, (not physically together) usually in a same circumstance/phase only with different participants/place/instances. we also have sort of the same outlook on problems and this has been going on since we were kids!  We do however have our own individual differences,preferences and demeanor too, but we blend well. 

coffee chart taken from the internet

coffee chart taken from the internet

I realized people are like coffee, some are sweet, dark, mild, strong, light, bitter, etc. All attributed to how they are formed.

 

Lets use a cup of espresso as example. A shot of espresso is comprised of layers.

Pick out your beans.  Then we make the brew, time the shot and pour the coffee. It then separates to 3 layers. (from the top)

1. “crema” that fine-foam of oils containing the coffee’s best flavors and aromatic properties.

2.  “body” the middle part also the mouth fill of the shot.

3.  “core” or “heart” of the coffee. This is the deep brown bottom layer, which dictates the bitterness of the shot,

 

With people, it is composed of much more layers. People ‘s attitudes are formed by experiences, pressures, values, principles, standards, internal and external factors which are all unique, and different from others. Which is actually a good thing as we are all individuals. But there are times clashes occur. Maybe because of…

1. “Appearance” that outer body people look at, nationality, how you present yourself…etc.

2. “Mindset” how you think, biases, culture.

3. “Heart” feelings and attitude.

4. “Values” principles, internalized beliefs.

5. “Core” experiences that molded you into what you are and what you believe in.

 

coffee from pinterest

coffee from pinterest

 

The sum of the above dictates what kind of person a person is.

Maybe this explains why some people are good to be around with, and some to stay away from.

What is the mix of your brew?

 

“If the world hates you, remember that the world hated me first. If you belonged to the world, then the world would love you like it loves its own people. But I have chosen you out of the world. So you don’t belong to the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember the lesson I told you: A servant is not greater than his master. If people did wrong to me, then they will do wrong to you too. And if people obeyed my teaching, then they will obey yours too.”  -John15:18-20


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rainy days

I have a love hate relationship with rain.

Back when I was a child I used to welcome the rain, I would wear my raincoat and boots and dance till I’m soaked and my nanny would just let me bathe in the rain. I am more than happy when the school declares no classes, I would gather used paper and make paper boats to float in the puddle/flood waters outside our window. Add to that is the thought that the plants getting their supply of water (although at times too much) being the little gardener of the house I am happy as could be knowing that my kalamansi/corn/whatever seed(s) I got from the kitchen and planted on the soil, would grow.

Tropical Rain

Tropical Rain image from whatwallpaper.com

A few years more I still love the rain, although I don’t play outside anymore.  I would cozy myself with a book by the window and have a bowl of ice cream or a cup of hot chocolate, and some cookies and I am all set to enjoy the cool wind and the splashy noises of drizzling water.

Now, I still like the cool wind that comes with the rain but, I am now more aware of the hassles/damages the rain and the rainy season brings. A few years back my family had our share of the damage/s it brings our house was flooded (half of the first floor), no electricity, no water, our car got water damaged due to the flood (we had to sell it and buy a new one), we ran out of vegetables and our pet rabbits have to eat bread to get by, we got stuck in the house without drinking water and my sister and I have to wade through thigh deep waters to get a few bottles of water. Going to and back home from the office is also a real challenge since it easily floods in the area, I have to wade through knee deep flood waters to get to work. I sometimes go to work wearing a rain boots or worse,  beach slippers!

After the flooded house/car experience, I am now wary every time it rains. I worry about how will we get home? Are my loved ones safe and dry? Do we need to move the car to a higher place? Is the supply of food and water enough for us? Did we have means of communication with others?

It became more tedious as I grow up. Maybe because I can now understand better.

The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow