life of a cuddlebit

my random ramblings


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dust in my eye

I always wipe my glasses clean before heading out to work. By afternoon, when I take them out to wipe them again I notice a lot of dust has accumulated on the lenses and I am happily unaware of it. I can only see them when I take my glasses and inspect it on a different view.

I am unaware of stuff clouding up my vision.  But I notice the dirt on my desk, monitor…etc. That is, further to me than my own glasses that rest on my nose.

photo taken from the internet

photo taken from the internet

There are certain friends/people in my environment that are quick to notice the dust in my lenses. And hate me for it. At times, I get terribly affected, sometimes I just don’t care but honestly, it hurts. That I start seeing/looking at the dust that clouds up their lenses too and resenting them.

I don’t even think of them as friends anymore.

Getting to a point that I can feel hate. The mere sound of their voice makes me want to hurl.  

I am walking on a thin thread with this. I swing back and forth from hate and tolerance. I pray for patience and wisdom in dealing with them that at times I prayed that they get the feeling that they make me feel. Sad, I know.

This is partly why I am an introvert from the start. I am afraid of people.

Ignoring my “triggers” seems to help. But that can also grow thin. I just remind myself this:

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. –Matthew 7:1-5

Dear God, please help me with the dust in my eyes. Give me a heart of compassion.

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a kid’s treasure

I sort of unearthed some of my treasures form the past. (while cleaning my drawer) 

childhood

First was my beloved tamagochi-digital pet. Mine was yellow, my pet is a dinosaur. I wanted to resurrect it, tried to place fresh batteries, but the thing was dead/broken. Still I decided to keep it, maybe get dad to fix it.

Next was some Pogs and a plain slammer, in a tin can of Ouch bubblegum. Back in the days pogs and bubblegum/candies were our currency. Shiny slammers were worth more, and we have our lucky slammer. We trade them to other kids for cards, more pogs or more bubblegum/candies. Our bubblegum favorites was of course; ouch, bubble tape, bazooka, bubble jug and judge bubblegum. For candies, skittles, warheads, air heads, gobstoppers, nerds and runts were cheaper back then.

One of my treasured toys was a lighted Viewmaster. I have Flintstones and Beauty and the Beast reels. (that I watch and re-watch) My aunt got it for me from Duty Free, along with a lighted Poly Pocket because those were the rage back then. Those were my portable toys and they went wherever I go.

Speaking of going places, though I have my bright red bike, I can be usually spotted wearing my purple rollerblades. I never took them off. Even when playing with jumping ropes. I am a rollerblade expert that way! I still have them but the straps are broken.

Lastly, some red fragrance beads (we call them kisses, that lost their scent) that we place in our fancy automatic pencil cases (I lost mine). I think the scent was strawberry, but I am not sure.

*I may go and try buying some of them again. Just to smell what they smell like again.  We have this crazy idea that those fragrance beads get pregnant, and that those kisses give birth to more kisses (fragrance beads)!

Mechanical/magic pencils are also a big deal back then, and it was every child’s dream to have all those fancy pencils.

I had a laugh recalling those times. Those were the days.

I am a 90’s kid.