life of a cuddlebit

my random ramblings


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a dress named after me

Because nothing screams bridal quite like a white ball gown wedding dress.

The photo shows a dress named Pam. Just like my name. It was named after me. 

After all this is a Zuhair Murad 2016 spring-summer bridal collection,  a strapless number with sweetheart neckline and lace embroidery, romantic style white wedding ball-gown dress with veil.  

That was quite a description. 

Zuhair Murad -Pam

Zuhair Murad 2016 -Pam

So, when did I want to look like a generic bride? Since I had my wedding gown barbie.  That was eons ago. 

Or was it because all my friends wore white ballgowns? And all the aunts thinks a ball gown looks more expensive than other styles?

I examined pictures of the dresses I fit again, and again. Maybe more hours staring at it than I care to admit. It has been a warped huge cloud of a dress with a lot of stuff. I am trying to stuff  every dress I wanted in my entire 29 years of living into one. That is a very very tall order. And a scary one at that. 

I wanted the big huge giant ballgown like what my barbie doll wore from my childhood days, the pink prom dress I wore, my lilac enchanted dress given to me by my uncle, the polka dotted peach tea dress from my aunt, a berriboned fuschia and pink floor length gown that made me feel better after having an asthma attack, the silver and periwinkle ballgown I wore to my cousin’s wedding… basically, I wanted to top off everything I had worn.

I wanted my wedding dress to be the best dress that I am going to wear on my entire life.  

I wanted all the magical stuff in the dress: the corset boning, the glitter, embroidery and lace, layers upon layers of sheer tulle, the frosted organza, sparkly buttons, ribbons, beading etc. All the good stuff in petite size, within my budget.

Talk about being difficult. And nowhere realistic or practical. 

I am having a hard time picking out what I like. Can a mermaid be a ballgown at the same time?! I refuse to settle and spent unreasonable hours poring over magazines and the internet. I keep on saving a ton of pictures that does nothing but to muddle up my thoughts more.

But the wedding is still six months away, I thought.

What about all the other dresses out there, the ones that might be better? How can I be sure that the dress I picked, express who I am when it has features that are not really me? or not the usual? not the traditional? not like something I would wear? is it too boring? too classic? does this look bridal and formal enough? is it unique enough?

So I look for another dress… and the cycle of doubting my decision/s begins again. 

To hell with what everybody thinks. I am going to pick what makes me happy. 

After all there may be other brides who will wear the same style of dress that I wore. That only means I have impeccable taste. Would be my wedding be less of a wedding if my dress looks similar to another bride’s dress? No. Will my Marriage be better if I wear a Vera Wang or a  Zuhair Murad? No.  Will my entire wedding be recreated by other brides who used the same wedding suppliers I got? I don’t think so.

The fact that there is only one me and one Kei makes our wedding unique. 

Will my wedding dress be the most awesome thing I will wear? probably.

But it is sure that I will wear more dresses after, maybe not as pretty as my wedding gown or maybe even better than my gown. Who knows? My 25th wedding anniversary/renewal of vows  dress might top the first dress. 

When I removed my unrealistic expectations about what I wanted from the dress, did I like what I saw. I envision myself as me only better, a polished and smiling me ready to walk to the arms of my beloved.

 

*No ballgowns for me. Even if it is the usual thing. Because, I am NOT YOUR USUAL bride to be. And the ballgown is so Pammy from the days gone a long time ago. =)

 

 

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signed, sealed, delivered – we have our primary sponsors!

When it comes to the wedding preparation and practices you probably noticed that we are kind of different. We came from traditional Chinese families yet we are non-traditional thinkers with a hint of modern style. This makes our families say that we think like Westerners. We take that as a compliment.

I would like to say that it is not like we disregard tradition, it is just that we are practical.

So, when it comes to the daunting task of getting the principal sponsors or the ninongs and ninangs, we still made it non-traditional. Rebellious moves on our end, as most of our peers have gone through this the traditional way.

principal

We have 8 pairs of principal sponsors. While to some that may be too many. But to us with a huge family that was the exact number. It even complies with the traditional Chinese thinking that 8 is a lucky number.  Split into two, that means four pairs from the groom’s side and four pairs from the bride’s side.

That being said, imagine visiting and giving each of the pairs these “required items”- pork leg, misua (very thin variety of salted Chinese noodles made from wheat flour), fruits, sweets and more importantly fabric/s to be made into a suit/ to be made into a gown.

Kei already had his prospects for his principal sponsors; I on the other hand only had two. The other two was chosen by my parents. Most of our prospective sponsors have been sponsors before. Meaning they have been through this stuff already. Most of the males own more than one suit; the ladies have had lots of gowns made for them too. We also doubt if they really enjoy eating misua?! I can imagine them saying misua again?!

Meaty Vegetable Misua - Photo from Knorr Philippines

Meaty Vegetable Misua – Photo from Knorr Philippines

And one of our couples is Pinoy! So how do we explain to them the Chinese tradition of getting primary sponsors? I don’t think they would know what to do if we gave them the pork leg and misua stuff…etc. They even called us up to ask what our motif is so that they could buy their suit and gown! Woah! Hold it right there! Because as per Filipino tradition, they pay for their own attire.

Kei and I decided on going with our own version of the tradition. A modern and practical solution for everyone involved. We are going to give out our very own: Principal Sponsor Kit. (Much like what I did with the bridesmaids kits, but for another purpose. See my bridesmaids’ kits here)

the principal sponsor kits

our principal sponsor kits

For the the males a nice long sleeved polo shirt with tie – they get to wear their own suit without having to get another suit made, for the ladies it will still be the standard fabric – only twist is that we not only gave out the fabric of our chosen color, we also gave them lace. As an added bonus, we also gave out details regarding the wedding along with our love story. How is that for being organized? hahahaha!

inside the box of the female sponsor's kit

inside the box of the female sponsor’s kit

We also traded the misua for most of the couples; it was replaced with us inviting the couple out to eat, like a double date. In the process getting to know them better and getting comfortable with them. Although we have 2 chosen sponsor couples are really traditionalist, we gave them the staple fare: pork leg, fruit, sweets and misua.

So far, the result of our rebellion has been positive. 

The males are happy that they get to save money by wearing what they have/or their favorite suit and getting a nice polo + tie to boot. The ladies are excited to get another gown made without scrimping on the budget this time! (The ladies have no competition as the males will not have to get another suit made thus nothing to worry about!) Three couples even called us up to say that we were very thoughtful for giving them a hassle free solution to preparing their attire for the wedding. Practicality wins again! 

 

*as of the moment all our kits are sent out save for one.


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the shoe looks familiar…

I love shoes, you know that right? And this time I am looking for heels.

Specifically a nude colored shoe and one in black. Because I can’t wear my Fitflops for prenup. 

So, I have been looking at this Figliarina shoe for quite some time. I like it very much.

Feminine and simple/practical to mix and match. But sadly they don’t have it in my size. I have cute size 5 feet. 

Figliarina Beige PT heel sandal

Figliarina Beige PT heel sandal

So, I eventually got these meshed beauties from Charles and Keith.

Charles and Keith 2014-L5-CK1

Charles and Keith 2014-L5-CK1

While I was pleased with my nude shoe, I still need a black one.

Again, I scoured the shoe section of the department stores to no avail. The I saw something familiar…it is the Figliarina shoe again. I still like it. So, again I asked for one in my size. They don’t have size 5. Figures…. but they have size 5 in black! I was like woooh! for real? I want them!

The shoe I liked, in my size, in black.

The shoe I liked, in my size, in black.

So I got the Figliarina in black. With the black color the look they project looks quite different from the beige one. This looks feminine but edgy and sexy at the same time. Just what I need nice. 

And another plus! It is on sale! (till the end of March) I got it for 1,199.00php from its original price of 1,999.00php. Woot! 

I also found something I am really happy about. I like Kate Middleton’s style. That I sometimes look at  whatkatewore.com to look at her outfits. It is no secret that she likes wearing LK Bennett shoes.

 I scored big time!I scored big time!

Well,  something looks familiar! Not really an exact look alike but still,  I believe I really scored big time!
Yes, I am “mababaw” (tagalog term for: shallow) that way.
How is that for shoe therapy?

 


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apologetic rebellion

Chinese couples usually go through a “Tinghun” engagement ceremony. Our parents had that, some of my cousins had that…however, Kei and I sort of side-tracked. We have gone the western way, (That is a proposal then the upcoming wedding.) than the traditional (Chinese) way (that is engagement then wedding).

Thing is a traditional “Tinghun” means a lot of money. Why? The groom (and his family) invites their close relatives as well as relatives of the bride for a tea ceremony. Prepares loads of clothes, shoes, watch and sets of jewelry, cakes, fruits/candy to give to the relatives, who attended the betrothal. All the expenses are shouldered by the groom. In return the bride’s family gives a watch and a necklace to the groom. Kei and I decided to skip it. Instead use the money for the wedding. A wedding is a major expense!

various

One of my aunts sort of had some issues with it. That another aunt has to step in and explain to the other aunt. Practicality trumps tradition.

So, now that I am looking for prenup (photo) stuff, other than the gowns, I sort of wanted to get myself a red dress (modern take), or a cheongsam/qipao (traditional look). I think it would look good with the venue we had in mind. Also it would be nice to pay homage to our Chinese roots. Kei’s family originated from Hong Kong, mine came from China.

I am going for something like gangster quad or in the mood for love kind of vibe but with a modern take.

these are my inspiration, movie posters from the internet

these are the “mood” inspiration, movie posters from the internet

And here are my inspiration for the dresses, my pegs:

i like them both....

I like them both…help me pick one!

What do you guys think? Should I go with modern or traditional?


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first post in 2014

Happy new year to everyone! 

mantra

 

This is what I intend to practice more in 2014.

No dieting goal, getting rich or traveling plans, nothing ambitious… just something realistic. 

Live frugally, get Kei to go out with his buddies more, more listening, and less talking. Because (I speak too much) at times I can be tactless.

What is yours?