I am on level 245, and has been stuck for a week. Once I get through this I need tickets to get me to the next level.
Yes, I am talking about Candy Crush.
Candy Crush Saga
I love this game, my friends like it, even my mum plays it! It is simple and entertaining. I find it really helpful when I am passing time. I get excited and feel accomplished when I pass a level. I feel giddy when my friends send me lives and additional moves to help me get through the current level.
I never win straight. I win some then lose some. At times it takes a lot of tries to advance.
It also gets annoying when I have just one move left and I still need 2 moves to win. I shout a loud arrrrggghhh to show my frustration. But, I always get back and try again.
Funny that it resembles life. Persist till you win. Count on your friends to back you up.
A little more persistence, a little more effort, and what seemed hopeless failure may turn to glorious success. -Elbert Hubbard
I am not one to sit back and wait for things to happen. I try to make things happen. I get antsy when I am told to stay put.
I think about all the what-if and I worry too much. But there are times that I pray and hope for immediate results, which is not the right attitude.
I know. I just cant help it. I am of little faith.
photo from pinterest
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much better than they?- Matthew 6:26
I am usually (if not always) compared to others. Born to a strict Chinese household that equates being the best to having more than others, or doing better than others. I am in constant pressure/battle with my peers and cousins on who gets the nicest/well paid jobs, best dressed, be financially well-off, who gets a “complete package” significant other. While this might prove to be a driving force to make me aim for better, I am actually exhausted in having to keep up with them all, that at times I fantasize on running away to some far-flung place and live without the pressure of keeping up on my shoulder.
I don’t have a high paying job, I just have a job. I try my best to dress well even if I cannot afford brand names. I am not well-off, from the start I have always been from a plain family. I have a significant other, though he is far from being a “complete package”, and we are not yet a sealed deal… I love him and he strives really hard at work. I am on my toes trying to keep up with everyone. I think about my cousins, can I still hold my own with them? I think about my friends/classmates, can I catch up? I think about the other single girls in my circle, can I match up to their standards of beauty? I think of my travelling friends, can I go exploring like them someday? I think about the entrepreneur friends I have, can I ever do something like they did? I think of my savings, do I have enough?
I think about keeping up at times (that worries me too much because I am a control freak), I feel powerless when I cant do anything/ I have no plan, I then have panic attacks and end up losing sleep. And then went on to have stomach cramps and ulcer attacks.
Comparison
I then pray to God. God, Thank you for everything you gave me, I need/give me this and that…help me with (insert everything society dictates here).
Then, I stay awake or continue my endless list of God please help me with (insert everything society dictates here) till I fall asleep, and wake up without really ending my prayer. I feel bad about myself when I do that. I feel really guilty, that I cease to pray for the rest of the day and wait for bedtime to attempt praying again.
This time, I wanted to let it all go. I want to Let God take all my worries.
This is really hard for me but I will try my darn best to let go.
While having breakfast, my office friends and I shared a laugh over our different personalities and our office mates and linked them according to their birthdays. (ie. October born- likes to party)
I got curious about what my birth month says about me… my office friends say that January born are stubborn. I sort of agree, but not completely.
So, after breakfast, I googled it up. I am born January 23. Although here in the Philippines there is no winter, I am considered as winter born.
People born in January are ambitious and hardworking. They are smart, organized, and productive. Although they are serious, they are also funny and love to joke around. They love to teach people new things as much as they love learning new things. They are very cautious and careful when it comes to money. They are usually quiet and reserved unless they are excited. People born in January are not often sick but when they are it is most commonly with a cold. On the negative side, they are also stubborn and hard-headed. They are also jealous and like to criticize others. (After a few more googling, I found out that I share my birth month with Kate Middleton! I like her fashion style.)
Then, I tried to be specific. Typed in my birth date (January 23) and these are the results:
You are a practical idealist. While you have a strong need for security, you need to mix up your routines frequently or else you easily feel antsy. You are excellent at organizing, but others may not understand your system! Managing money is a skill. You are very resourceful and versatile, and a strong individualist. Following through on all of your ideas is something you have trouble doing, and you eventually learn that focusing on a few brings you more success. Famous people born today: Jeanne Moreau, Princess Caroline of Monaco, John Hancock. (Wow! I share a birthday with a princess! Maybe I am a princess too! hahahaha!)
Aquarians born January 23 are hard-headed realists whose personas reflect a strong, silent type. They have a toughness about them that’s laudable and useful: They seem to handle anything. Inside, though, they’re tender souls. Often put in the position of role model, they do not generally regard their conduct as anything special. January 23 natives enjoy the social elements of friendship. They make gentle, caring lovers. They have an aversion to commitment, though it’s not uncommon for them to enter a long-term relationship or marriage when they find someone who shares their views. January 23 people have pride in their family background. Many of the ideals and traits they exhibit were absorbed from their family. When they become parents, they may feel pulled between providing discipline and endorsing a more liberated parenting style. People born on January 23 like to do things their way. They don’t take kindly to health or nutritional advice. An annual visit to a health-care professional should not invalidate their independence. Because of the sensitivity of their systems, they should shun smoking and drinking. Like many Aquarian people, January 23 natives are not the sort who can work at a job they find boring or uncreative. They have a potential to earn a good deal of money, though they usually spend it faster than they make it. Friends and relatives are often the beneficiaries of their generosity. Not having to pretend they are something they aren’t is a major goal sought by January 23 people. They are motivated to achieve career success and may not realize until late that they also want personal stability. They want to be the best at what they do. They take criticism well and are able to look at themselves objectively.
1.) I sort of “sorted out things” with my best friend.
2.) Drank wine with the family to kick start the weekend. (My 18 year old sister brought a bottle of wine and proceeded to pour everyone a cup. Our family doesn’t really drink, but weirdly enough my parents were okay with this, and drank with us. )
3.) Movie marathon. (Usually I watch one movie per weekend. This time I watched 3: Despicable Me 2, Pacific Rim and Confessions-from the Eiga-Sai festival.)
4.) I get to go to the first study session of my Baptismal Class.
5.) I got a 50% off dress from Dorothy Perkins. It was a blue/white chinoiserie print dress I saw from a window display a month ago! In my size! (I don’t really get to buy dresses on this brand as most of the dresses are a bit big, have huge armholes, too low necklines or the length is too short. )
6.) The Heat is on! The church SSP-Zion Caregroup friends finally clamped down a dinner reservation at Shangri-La Ortigas buffet restaurant Heat.
I just hope this work week will be smooth sailing, as we are having a rough time at work lately…
*I really think everyone should go watch Pacific Rim. I find it awesome.
I am currently stuck in a lot of work. That I neglect my blog, fail to see my friends and just hit the sack when I get home. I barely have time for myself.
Skipped going to the dentist to get my braces adjusted, even forgot to see my dermatologist!
Every night, I go check Facebook just to be in the know about what is happening in my circle of friends and somehow I cannot relate. Its like I’m trapped in an alternate world where all I see is other people’s blessings. I see their happy faces, travel pictures, family outings, new bags, nice clothes, shiny cars and the latest dose of gossip (who is with whom, who is seen in where…etc.). I then think about how badly I want a vacation, daydream about leaving and travelling… that always ends with I wish I have more money. Then I get sad.
But, this time my self pitying was halted by a pop up chat message from an old friend.
It says: Sorry for disturbing your evening but, can I please ask for help? I will be blunt. I am jobless for more than a year, I can barely keep up with my living expenses I need a job. please help.
Bam! Instant reality check.
While I was busy complaining that I am buried in a pile of work, my friend desperately prays for work.
I was appalled at my behavior and quickly thanked God for the daily blessings I receive.
Then proceeded to look at the net for some leads that could fit my friend. After a while some of my friends found something for the friend in need.
There is a lot to be thankful for.
Thank God for everyday blessings and carry on a positive attitude.
I have an annoying habit of talking about my problems. I think we all do.
I just realized that even if we do have a lot of problems, we also have countless blessings. Maybe at times, we fail to see those blessings and end up complaining loudly to each and every problem we encounter. If we could change our outlook in life, maybe our world will be a bit lighter and happier too.
Rainy day rabbit
I am not exactly sure if I can not talk about my problems, but I can start by counting my blessings.
Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit talk about your joys. -Rita Schiano
life of a cuddlebit 